Aaaand…. Scene!
A couple weeks ago, I talked about Al’s and my collaboration style. As I said, my scripts leave a lot of the visual storytelling to Al, and he often adds elements that I never even would have thought of.
Today’s page is a great example of this. The way that the last panel “bleeds” to the edge of the page provides a nice visual punctuation to the end of the scene. It’s kind of the comics equivalent of a fade to black. Also, the way that the perspective has pulled back and Rachel and Isaac are framed in the kitchen doorway makes them look smaller and enhances the feeling that they are alone in the house. It adds a bit of sadness to the scene, and I think it’s a great touch.
For contrast, here is the script for the page:
Rachel: Ira, they ask too much. He’s only 15. All he does is work. He doesn’t even have any friends!
Ira: (standing) I know, Rachel. But we’re at war. The Nazis don’t allow us the luxury of time. Max will be fine. He’s stronger than you think.
Isaac: (looking up from his paper) Maybe this is for the best. If he misses that deadline, he can put all this nonsense behind him and do something worthwhile with his time.
Ira: Isaac…
Max stands in the doorway to the foyer.
Max: I’m ready.
Ira: Okay, kiddo. Let’s go. (saying goodbye) Rachel. Isaac.
Rachel: Can’t you stay for breakfast?
Ira: We’ll grab something on the way.
Max and Ira exit, leaving Rachel standing at the stove and Isaac in his chair. The two look at each other, then Rachel returns to cooking, and Isaac returns to his paper.
See, pretty sparse. I don’t provide much more than the dialogue. All the gestures and facial expressions, as well as the placement of the characters and the “camera angles” came from Al. Not every script is so meager. Scenes that have more action give me more to write about. But for a scene like this, that is mostly dialog, I rely on Al to make it visually interesting, and I think he did a particularly good job on this one.
Next week, a change of scenery and a change of pace: the beginning of scene 2, in which we introduce a new character!
Shawn